` You get an error message that says, "Hey, Loser! You've been online for two days now!".
` When you go outdoors, you cover your eyes because the sunlight nearly blinds you!!
` You receive a $500.00 electric bill for the month!!
` Friends take you to the hospital because you seem, "unresponsive" to them.
` You're name and web page appear on the, "Webaholics" page!!
` You hear the word "Windows" on a TV commercial and wrestle the remote away from your wife to turn up the volume only to find out it's a commercial selling new windows for houses.
` You spend WAY too much time in Circuit City's computer department, so
` You hear an emergency breakthrough on your modem speaker reminding you that your employer hasn't seen you.......EVER!
` You actually reading this list.
` You actually SUBMITTED entry for this list.
10. Your opening line is, "So what's your home page address?"
9. Your best friend is someone you've never met.
8. You see a beautiful sunset, and you half expect to see "Enhanced for Netscape 1.1" on one of the clouds.
7. You are overcome with disbelief, anger and finally depressed when you encounter a Web page with no links.
6. You feel driven to consult the "Cool Page of the Day" on your wedding day.
5. You are diving on a dark and rainy night when you hydroplane on puddle, sending your car careening toward the flimsy guard rail that separates you from the precipice of a rocky cliff and certain death. You look for the "Back" button.
4. You visit "The Really Big Button that Doesn't Do Anything" again and again and again.
3. Your dog has his own Web page
2. So does your hamster.
.... And the No. 1 sign that you have overdosed on the WWW: When you read a magazine, you have an irresistible urge to click on the underlined passages.
The UPS man rings the doorbell and your kids yell in their Internet voice "YOU'VE GOT MAIL"
The bird can mimic the sound of an instant message.
You think quality time is sitting in the family room on the puter with the kids watching TV around you.
You use all five screen names for yourself and the PFCs are all full with emails.
As you sign on you have to think "where am I going and what screen name should I use?"
Feel totally defeated when you have by accident emailed a friend while you are using a screen name that they didn't know about.
You've learned how to close 5 instant messages while answering 5 other ones.
Your kids don't even ask to use the computer any more.
Your kids wait patiently beside the puter for your fingers to stop before they talk to you.
Your friends casually mention while IMing.."it's Tuesday, don't you have to take your kids to practice in about 3 minutes?"
You get irritated telling your family how to use the PFC but can tell MHM people with clarity.
Your kids don't yell "MMMMOOOOOMMMM" anymore, they know exactly where you are. (Sitting at the puter)
submitted by Dear Myra
If your e-mail address ends in ".over.yonder.com".
If you connect to the World Wide Web via a "Down Home Page".
If the bumper sticker on your truck says "My other computer is a laptop".
If your laptop has a sticker that says "Protected by Smith and Wesson".
If you've ever doubled the value of your truck by installing a cellular phone.
If your baseball cap read "DEC" instead of "CAT".
If your computer is worth more than all your cars combined.
If your wife said either she or the computer had to go. You still don't miss her.
If you've ever used a CD-ROM as a coaster to set your beer on.
If you ever refer to your computer as "Ole Bessy".
If your screen saver is a bitmap image of your favorite truck, tractor, or farm animal.
If you start all your e-mails with the words "Howdy y'all"
I'll tell you ....... I got the biggest kick out of these ..... if anyone can identify with them, it's ME!!! Bye!